I got thinking about the old adage "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" while reading an odd little book that reminded me of the Lemony Snickets series. Lois Lowry's The Willoughbys is quirky, satirical and ends hilariously.
Basically, the story goes a little something like this: the parents of the 4 Willoughby children are horrible, the family in general is miserable, and everyone is longing for something that they're missing. BUT, in the end (spoiler alert) they all end up happy (although not all necessarily alive) because they make the most of things going terribly wrong and take advantage of their misfortunes.
I can't say that it's always easy to see the good in horrible things. But sometimes, even when times are the worst, you get little glimpses of the good here and there. Even now, as we continue on with social distancing and home isolation there is a silver lining.
There are many silver linings to the mess that Covid-19 has created:
1. I have a renewed perspective on what's important to me; on what I can live with and without while still maintaining my happiness.
2. Being home all the time has given me the opportunity to spend more time with my children. Instead of desperately trying to reconnect with them in the precious few hours we would typically have after a full day of being apart, I am a part of their daily life. I don't have to catch up and question them to know what they've been up to and how they are doing.
3. I've seen my kids grow and develop in ways that I didn't expect. They have developed so many life skills in caring for the home and contributing to the family. Social distancing has given my children the opportunity to build their life skills in ways that were otherwise not possible.
4. I've rediscovered the joy of comfy clothes all day. I now realize that it's a throwback to my university days of attending tutorial in my PJ's and I'm not sure how I'm ever going to go back to regular clothing! Is there such as thing as professional stretchy pants?!
5. Slowing down and getting to those tasks that I otherwise find hard to get to. These things are on my "one day" list and I'm slowing but surely crossing them off and boy does that ever feel good!
6. Approaching life in the slow lane has its perks; what's wrong with sleeping in, managing my time more freely, relaxing at the end of the day and just settling down with a hot tea and a good old novel? This is a welcome change to the good old "go, go, go!" of everyday life.
What silver linings have you found recently? What transformations are you experiencing? In what ways are you turning these difficult times it into a opportunity for success?
We all have the chance to make a little Covid-19 lemonade if only we take the time to. And if you do, it sure does make this sour situation a little sweeter.
Showing posts with label Positivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Positivity. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2020
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
Some Literal And Figurative Spring Cleaning In The Weeks Ahead
I picked up State of the Union by Nick Hornby on the basis of a staff recommendation at my local public library. It's a short novel that reads more like a play with its heavy use of dialogue and I plowed through it in one day (thanks to Covid-19, I had some time to kill).
From this book I'd like to share with you a short passage that I found to be insightful and thought provoking. On page 89, as Louise and Ted meet again for a drink at a pub before going into their next marriage therapy session, they discuss the state of their marriage and what they can do about it:
""The trouble is, marriage is like a computer. You can take it apart to see what's inside, but then you're left with a million pieces."
Louise sighs in despairing agreement, and then rallies.
"How about this?" she says. "We shove the big bits back in, chuck the small ones away, close it up, and get on with things."
"But it won't work."
"It won't work, but it will look like a computer."
"Is that what you want? A marriage that looks like a marriage? Even though it won't work?""
This passage really struck me. The image of a marriage that looks like a marriage even though it doesn't work sounded all too familiar; not because my own marriage is a sham, but because I have seen how certain aspects of my life can become a hot mess if I don't care for them properly. When I think about this I think about my home, health, relationships, personal happiness, and self worth. How much of my life has the appearance of being great to others but deep inside they are really just a mismatch of parts that don't exactly fit.
Come on guys, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Anything on your "one day I'm gonna..." list is what I'm really talking about here. The things that are outta wack in your life and bug you but you simply haven't had the time or the energy to set them right. The things that nag at you but you just live with because for all intents and purposes, everything looks OK from the outside, so why the hell not just continue on with the status quo?
Well now is the time to put the pieces back together (and not just shove them back in).
As we continue to face weeks of social distancing ahead of us, this is the ideal time for some tidying up. I mean, of course clean out that closet that needs attention, but also consider the other areas of your life that have been a bit of a mess. Is this not a great opportunity to do some literal and figurative spring cleaning?
What ever your goals may be, is it not a great opportunity take your "computer" apart and figure out how to properly put it back together again (not just shove it into something that looks sort of right but in the end simply does not work)?
My dear readers, we can focus on the negativity of the pandemic or we can search for the goodness that is hiding behind it. Can you see the silver lining behind all that we are all going through right now?
I can.
We will make it through the times ahead. Making it through is all many of us can really do - get through and just get on with it. But you my dear reader, can make it through and and do so much more than that.
Let's do a bit of spring cleaning. Let's not just focus on literal cleaning up. Let's look at it on a more figurative level.
Let's reexamine our values and goals and compare that to how we spend our time. Let's try to re-connect to what really makes our hearts glad. Let's focus our time on doing just that with the precious time we now have.
Let's come out of this social distancing wiser, stronger and more put together than we have ever have been before. Not just so that we can look the part, but so we can make it all work properly too.
From this book I'd like to share with you a short passage that I found to be insightful and thought provoking. On page 89, as Louise and Ted meet again for a drink at a pub before going into their next marriage therapy session, they discuss the state of their marriage and what they can do about it:
""The trouble is, marriage is like a computer. You can take it apart to see what's inside, but then you're left with a million pieces."
Louise sighs in despairing agreement, and then rallies.
"How about this?" she says. "We shove the big bits back in, chuck the small ones away, close it up, and get on with things."
"But it won't work."
"It won't work, but it will look like a computer."
"Is that what you want? A marriage that looks like a marriage? Even though it won't work?""
This passage really struck me. The image of a marriage that looks like a marriage even though it doesn't work sounded all too familiar; not because my own marriage is a sham, but because I have seen how certain aspects of my life can become a hot mess if I don't care for them properly. When I think about this I think about my home, health, relationships, personal happiness, and self worth. How much of my life has the appearance of being great to others but deep inside they are really just a mismatch of parts that don't exactly fit.
Come on guys, you know what I'm talking about, right?
Anything on your "one day I'm gonna..." list is what I'm really talking about here. The things that are outta wack in your life and bug you but you simply haven't had the time or the energy to set them right. The things that nag at you but you just live with because for all intents and purposes, everything looks OK from the outside, so why the hell not just continue on with the status quo?
Well now is the time to put the pieces back together (and not just shove them back in).
As we continue to face weeks of social distancing ahead of us, this is the ideal time for some tidying up. I mean, of course clean out that closet that needs attention, but also consider the other areas of your life that have been a bit of a mess. Is this not a great opportunity to do some literal and figurative spring cleaning?
What ever your goals may be, is it not a great opportunity take your "computer" apart and figure out how to properly put it back together again (not just shove it into something that looks sort of right but in the end simply does not work)?
My dear readers, we can focus on the negativity of the pandemic or we can search for the goodness that is hiding behind it. Can you see the silver lining behind all that we are all going through right now?
I can.
We will make it through the times ahead. Making it through is all many of us can really do - get through and just get on with it. But you my dear reader, can make it through and and do so much more than that.
Let's do a bit of spring cleaning. Let's not just focus on literal cleaning up. Let's look at it on a more figurative level.
Let's reexamine our values and goals and compare that to how we spend our time. Let's try to re-connect to what really makes our hearts glad. Let's focus our time on doing just that with the precious time we now have.
Let's come out of this social distancing wiser, stronger and more put together than we have ever have been before. Not just so that we can look the part, but so we can make it all work properly too.
Tuesday, April 7, 2020
Tuck Everlasting
If you had to opportunity to live forever, would you take it? In light of the fact that every day more and more people are dying around the world from Covid -19, it seems odd that I should pick up a book that challenges my beliefs regarding life and death.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself: is it better to live a long life that cannot end, or is it better to end a life that you have fully lived?
It's a tough one, no? I'm sure that there are many people in the world right now that would gladly take immortality as they face the fear of death (in general) but especially from Covid-19.
In Natalie Babbit's novel Tuck Everlasting, we are faced with this very question. I actually grabbed the audio version of this book in a frantic haze just before March Break started. When I heard that my local community center and precious library were going to be shutting down to "flatten the curve" in my community I figured we'd never last a day at home shut out from the world without a few books and movies.
So off I went with my library card in hand and one hour to get enough to occupy my family and I for the next several weeks.
But when I brought the selection of books and movies home, my youngest daughter took one look at the books and wrinkled her nose. She said that she simply wasn't interested (and here I thought we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover).
I had heard about Tuck Everlasting as a classic novel and knew that it had been adapted into movies and as stage productions. Figuring that it had to have some merit to be nominated for so many awards, I thought I'd give it a go and then see if I could truly recommend the book to my daughter.
As it turns out, the book became more than a simple recommendation for a 10 year old. It honestly got me thinking about so much more.
Every time I tune into the news or read the latest chat room gossip it's all about Covid-19 and the turmoil that we're facing globally.
So when I began the book and quickly discovered that it was a book about immortality it got me thinking that there are millions of people out there right at this exact moment who would love to have the Tuck's secret weapon of immortality to keep themselves alive during this trying time.
Or, would they?
You see, as you read this book you begin to realize that immortality is not as appealing as it first seems. Granted, to never get sick or age sounds quite pleasant doesn't it? But in the end as is explained by Angus Tuck, he and his family cannot live life to the fullest because without death they aren't truly part of the circle of life.
He argues that without death there is no life. You are merely a "rock stuck at the side of a stream."
I most certainly do not wish anyone to become infected or die from Covid-19 but I do see the benefit in us all going through this ordeal. As we all wrack our brains to stay safe and socially distance ourselves hasn't it given us the opportunity to stop and reflect on what matters most?
Hasn't it given you the opportunity to clean out that closet that's be plaguing you for months?
Hasn't it forced you to reach out to the people you love the most to connect and take good care of them?
Hasn't it given you a chance to slow down and do things that matter to you with more care?
As I've said before, people and how we treat one another, are what matters the most in life (the rest is all bull shit). For those of us who are not essential services and are not allowed to go into work due to government interventions, rather than rant and rave about how bored you are, look at what you are doing with your life. You're alive! How do you plan on spending your time on this earth? Knowing that a virus can spread and attack the entire human race makes you realize how very fragile it all is.
This time of social distancing is ironically allowing us to find a way to get closer to those and that which matters most. Take the time to take care of yourself, your loved ones, your home, your neighborhood and this earth because although it seems like we are on this earth for a lifetime, it is not an everlasting ride.
Seize the day and the many more to come: get creative, try something new, and finish something that needs finishing.
It might feel like being tucked away in our homes is never ending but this too shall pass. Life your life to the fullest.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself: is it better to live a long life that cannot end, or is it better to end a life that you have fully lived?
It's a tough one, no? I'm sure that there are many people in the world right now that would gladly take immortality as they face the fear of death (in general) but especially from Covid-19.
In Natalie Babbit's novel Tuck Everlasting, we are faced with this very question. I actually grabbed the audio version of this book in a frantic haze just before March Break started. When I heard that my local community center and precious library were going to be shutting down to "flatten the curve" in my community I figured we'd never last a day at home shut out from the world without a few books and movies.
So off I went with my library card in hand and one hour to get enough to occupy my family and I for the next several weeks.
But when I brought the selection of books and movies home, my youngest daughter took one look at the books and wrinkled her nose. She said that she simply wasn't interested (and here I thought we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover).
I had heard about Tuck Everlasting as a classic novel and knew that it had been adapted into movies and as stage productions. Figuring that it had to have some merit to be nominated for so many awards, I thought I'd give it a go and then see if I could truly recommend the book to my daughter.
As it turns out, the book became more than a simple recommendation for a 10 year old. It honestly got me thinking about so much more.
Every time I tune into the news or read the latest chat room gossip it's all about Covid-19 and the turmoil that we're facing globally.
So when I began the book and quickly discovered that it was a book about immortality it got me thinking that there are millions of people out there right at this exact moment who would love to have the Tuck's secret weapon of immortality to keep themselves alive during this trying time.
Or, would they?
You see, as you read this book you begin to realize that immortality is not as appealing as it first seems. Granted, to never get sick or age sounds quite pleasant doesn't it? But in the end as is explained by Angus Tuck, he and his family cannot live life to the fullest because without death they aren't truly part of the circle of life.
He argues that without death there is no life. You are merely a "rock stuck at the side of a stream."
I most certainly do not wish anyone to become infected or die from Covid-19 but I do see the benefit in us all going through this ordeal. As we all wrack our brains to stay safe and socially distance ourselves hasn't it given us the opportunity to stop and reflect on what matters most?
Hasn't it given you the opportunity to clean out that closet that's be plaguing you for months?
Hasn't it forced you to reach out to the people you love the most to connect and take good care of them?
Hasn't it given you a chance to slow down and do things that matter to you with more care?
As I've said before, people and how we treat one another, are what matters the most in life (the rest is all bull shit). For those of us who are not essential services and are not allowed to go into work due to government interventions, rather than rant and rave about how bored you are, look at what you are doing with your life. You're alive! How do you plan on spending your time on this earth? Knowing that a virus can spread and attack the entire human race makes you realize how very fragile it all is.
This time of social distancing is ironically allowing us to find a way to get closer to those and that which matters most. Take the time to take care of yourself, your loved ones, your home, your neighborhood and this earth because although it seems like we are on this earth for a lifetime, it is not an everlasting ride.
Seize the day and the many more to come: get creative, try something new, and finish something that needs finishing.
It might feel like being tucked away in our homes is never ending but this too shall pass. Life your life to the fullest.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Silent No More
Lies, gossip, manipulation, deception, infidelity, loss, retaliation, insincerity, abduction, and bitterness. Interested yet?
Well, I am (and I'm kind of not).
You see, I'm a softy. I'm not a fan of any media that focus on this type of content. So, as I read The Family Next Door by Sally Hepworth I found myself in a world that exposed me to this type of content. As I read, I found myself asking, what is it about this story that draws people in? I honestly had such trouble getting into it. The book made me feel downright uncomfortable.
You guys, maybe I'm too much of a lightweight; perhaps I'm a bit of a schmuck. Maybe I'm just too idealistic to get into this type of book. Who knows?
What do know is this: when I'm reading a book (especially in light of what I'm trying to achieve here with this blog) I'm looking for some deep kernel of truth. Some tiny seed buried in the depth of the novel that finds it's way to my heart and soul. Some tiny (or huge) moment that forces me to reflect. Something that helps me make meaning of this messy and complicated world that we live in.
Now in this book (at least for me, perhaps it would be different for you) what I found was silence.
No, literally.
Silence was at the core of this book.
Silence which left characters in difficult situations that led them to make some pretty bad choices.
Silence which caused them not to deal with their problems which only caused their problems to simply get worse.
Silence which caused irreparable damage to their relationships.
The deception, lies, and infidelity in this book made me uncomfortable. I realized early on that I wasn't meshing with the characters. I didn't like what they had to offer me but I held out and stuck it through and I'm glad I did.
Because I realized that if I didn't finish the book then I wouldn't be blogging about it. There would be yet again, another moment of silence, this time on my part.
In reading books I often find myself seeking philosophies that validate my personal vision and deep need for positive thinking. I seek out the vision that the author has to offer and look to align it with my own or determine how it might make me revise my perceptions. This book didn't exactly do that for me, but it did make me realize something.
Perhaps there is comfort in reading about the nastiness of the world - maybe reading stories about cheating and indiscretion validates your experiences or makes you feel a little less guilty because there is someone out there (fictional or not) doing something worse than you? In reading books like this you realize that you are not the world's biggest screw up. There are others out there that have it bad. You? You're not so bad in comparison.
But is that what you truly want for your life?
In all honestly I don't consider myself a screw up even though I've screwed up plenty of times. I know that I've needed to learn when to shut up and when to stand up and speak out. It's been a journey and as I'm getting older and it's becoming clearer to me now more than ever that my voice is indeed powerful and needed in this world.
However, the reality is that words are a double edged sword. They can release and they can imprison. They can heal and they can hurt. They can create and they can destroy.
Too often I have walked through life in silence; not speaking up when I needed to. Not telling others how I truly felt. I feel truly blessed to be writing this blog because it has allowed me to say so much that would have otherwise gone unsaid and to free so many of my emotions and thoughts that would have otherwise remained trapped within me.
Even now as we all struggle through the Covid-19 pandemic, I have found it difficult to write. I have felt like the words are escaping me. And the quieter I get, the worse I feel. Getting back into reading and writing for this blog has proven to be rather helpful.
Here's why...
You see, for me reading books has always been a form of therapy. Call it "bibliotheraphy" if you will. If I have a problem, I get a book. If I'm trying to improve some aspect of my life, I get a book. If I'm having trouble getting along with a certain person, I get a book. If I'm not wanting to deal with the issues that are going on in the great big world, I get a book.
I know it might seem weird but does anyone feel me?
Honestly, until I started writing about the books I was reading I was totally missing out on half of my therapy session. Talking about the books is just as therapeutic as reading them.
So for those of you who read some of my more personal posts and wonder how I had the guts to lay out my personal story on the line, I have to tell you that rather than make me feel afraid and trapped, writing about it made me feel free.
Now that I'm writing this blog, the silence is broken and I feel more myself. To be completely honest, this is a byproduct that I never expected.
By writing in this blog I am breaking the silence. I am ending areas of conflict in my life, working out solutions to problems that I face, finding ways to cope with people who I find challenging and most importantly, rather than running away and hiding out with a book, I find myself coming to a better understanding of who I am within this crazy world.
I shall keep working through these challenging times as we all struggle to make sense of what will happen next.
I hope that you too will find a way to be heard. I hope that you will feel and understand the importance of your voice. I hope that you will acknowledge the double edge sword of words and be brave even if it scares you.
Now is the time to share your voice and be silent no more.
Well, I am (and I'm kind of not).
You see, I'm a softy. I'm not a fan of any media that focus on this type of content. So, as I read The Family Next Door by Sally Hepworth I found myself in a world that exposed me to this type of content. As I read, I found myself asking, what is it about this story that draws people in? I honestly had such trouble getting into it. The book made me feel downright uncomfortable.
You guys, maybe I'm too much of a lightweight; perhaps I'm a bit of a schmuck. Maybe I'm just too idealistic to get into this type of book. Who knows?
What do know is this: when I'm reading a book (especially in light of what I'm trying to achieve here with this blog) I'm looking for some deep kernel of truth. Some tiny seed buried in the depth of the novel that finds it's way to my heart and soul. Some tiny (or huge) moment that forces me to reflect. Something that helps me make meaning of this messy and complicated world that we live in.
Now in this book (at least for me, perhaps it would be different for you) what I found was silence.
No, literally.
Silence was at the core of this book.
Silence which left characters in difficult situations that led them to make some pretty bad choices.
Silence which caused them not to deal with their problems which only caused their problems to simply get worse.
Silence which caused irreparable damage to their relationships.
The deception, lies, and infidelity in this book made me uncomfortable. I realized early on that I wasn't meshing with the characters. I didn't like what they had to offer me but I held out and stuck it through and I'm glad I did.
Because I realized that if I didn't finish the book then I wouldn't be blogging about it. There would be yet again, another moment of silence, this time on my part.
In reading books I often find myself seeking philosophies that validate my personal vision and deep need for positive thinking. I seek out the vision that the author has to offer and look to align it with my own or determine how it might make me revise my perceptions. This book didn't exactly do that for me, but it did make me realize something.
Perhaps there is comfort in reading about the nastiness of the world - maybe reading stories about cheating and indiscretion validates your experiences or makes you feel a little less guilty because there is someone out there (fictional or not) doing something worse than you? In reading books like this you realize that you are not the world's biggest screw up. There are others out there that have it bad. You? You're not so bad in comparison.
But is that what you truly want for your life?
In all honestly I don't consider myself a screw up even though I've screwed up plenty of times. I know that I've needed to learn when to shut up and when to stand up and speak out. It's been a journey and as I'm getting older and it's becoming clearer to me now more than ever that my voice is indeed powerful and needed in this world.
However, the reality is that words are a double edged sword. They can release and they can imprison. They can heal and they can hurt. They can create and they can destroy.
Too often I have walked through life in silence; not speaking up when I needed to. Not telling others how I truly felt. I feel truly blessed to be writing this blog because it has allowed me to say so much that would have otherwise gone unsaid and to free so many of my emotions and thoughts that would have otherwise remained trapped within me.
Even now as we all struggle through the Covid-19 pandemic, I have found it difficult to write. I have felt like the words are escaping me. And the quieter I get, the worse I feel. Getting back into reading and writing for this blog has proven to be rather helpful.
Here's why...
You see, for me reading books has always been a form of therapy. Call it "bibliotheraphy" if you will. If I have a problem, I get a book. If I'm trying to improve some aspect of my life, I get a book. If I'm having trouble getting along with a certain person, I get a book. If I'm not wanting to deal with the issues that are going on in the great big world, I get a book.
I know it might seem weird but does anyone feel me?
Honestly, until I started writing about the books I was reading I was totally missing out on half of my therapy session. Talking about the books is just as therapeutic as reading them.
So for those of you who read some of my more personal posts and wonder how I had the guts to lay out my personal story on the line, I have to tell you that rather than make me feel afraid and trapped, writing about it made me feel free.
Now that I'm writing this blog, the silence is broken and I feel more myself. To be completely honest, this is a byproduct that I never expected.
By writing in this blog I am breaking the silence. I am ending areas of conflict in my life, working out solutions to problems that I face, finding ways to cope with people who I find challenging and most importantly, rather than running away and hiding out with a book, I find myself coming to a better understanding of who I am within this crazy world.
I shall keep working through these challenging times as we all struggle to make sense of what will happen next.
I hope that you too will find a way to be heard. I hope that you will feel and understand the importance of your voice. I hope that you will acknowledge the double edge sword of words and be brave even if it scares you.
Now is the time to share your voice and be silent no more.
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
The Rest is all Bullshit
I thank my eldest daughter for recommending Jason Reynolds' Long Way Down. This story, expertly written in prose was an eye opener for me. Just one look at the back and you know what it's about.
It's about beef.
No, not a cow.
Beef — as in having a problem with someone or something.
Yup, you've been there. You've had your fair share of beef. Some of you live life at the beef buffet filling your plates and feeling miserable every step of the way.
You know who you are. You feel that life is not fair. That you've been mistreated. That you cannot trust. That you've been wronged.
So then you look to what Reynolds calls "the rules". These are the spoken or unspoken rules of how to live through the bullshit you've experienced so that you can get over it. Primarily, it has to do with ignoring how you are really feeling and finding a way to get vengeance.
But let me tell you something; at at end of the day all of "the rules" we abide by are bullshit.
At the end of the day when you lay down your head it does not matter if you've had a hard go or if you've gotten ripped off or if you got back at someone. What really matters is if you can lay down your head with a clear conscience knowing that you did the right thing (not the "rule" thing).
Did you treat the people in your life right? Did you practice self love? Did you see the humanity in the person in front of you? Did you make the people in your life glad, smile, comfortable, or feel loved even if those moments were merely fleeting?
That's doing the right thing. That's something you can feel proud of.
You will come across many “rules” in life. Expectations and demands that may get the better of you. Feeling defeated, exhausted and overworked we can often feel angry and cheated and the "rules" are tempting. We can feel like pushing our true feelings aside in search of vengeance.
But you are the person that you have to face in the mirror when you wake up the next day.
At the end of the day can you stand looking at yourself in the mirror? Are you proud of who you are and the choices you've made? You cannot control other people but you sure as hell can control yourself.
Be the person you wish to see staring back at you. Even at your worst moments choose love above all else. Choose that which makes you and others feel good. Because the bullshit of life will come calling and you need to know when to call it bullshit so that you don’t end up some place you’d rather not be.
This is hard to do because we often get stuck. We get stuck so we get angry. We get stuck so we get back at that someone or something. We get stuck and there you are...still stuck. Nothing changes.
You need to end the cycle.
End the cycle of anger, jealousy, guilt, aggression, ignorance, and self hate. End the sexism, racism, class-ism, able-ism or whatever isms that have you trapped and seeking vengeance.
Instead of passing on the beef from one generation to the next, just "pass" on the beef entirely.
Fill your plate with what feeds your soul and gives your life real meaning.
Because the rest is all bullshit.
It's about beef.
No, not a cow.
Beef — as in having a problem with someone or something.
Yup, you've been there. You've had your fair share of beef. Some of you live life at the beef buffet filling your plates and feeling miserable every step of the way.
You know who you are. You feel that life is not fair. That you've been mistreated. That you cannot trust. That you've been wronged.
So then you look to what Reynolds calls "the rules". These are the spoken or unspoken rules of how to live through the bullshit you've experienced so that you can get over it. Primarily, it has to do with ignoring how you are really feeling and finding a way to get vengeance.
But let me tell you something; at at end of the day all of "the rules" we abide by are bullshit.
At the end of the day when you lay down your head it does not matter if you've had a hard go or if you've gotten ripped off or if you got back at someone. What really matters is if you can lay down your head with a clear conscience knowing that you did the right thing (not the "rule" thing).
Did you treat the people in your life right? Did you practice self love? Did you see the humanity in the person in front of you? Did you make the people in your life glad, smile, comfortable, or feel loved even if those moments were merely fleeting?
That's doing the right thing. That's something you can feel proud of.
You will come across many “rules” in life. Expectations and demands that may get the better of you. Feeling defeated, exhausted and overworked we can often feel angry and cheated and the "rules" are tempting. We can feel like pushing our true feelings aside in search of vengeance.
But you are the person that you have to face in the mirror when you wake up the next day.
At the end of the day can you stand looking at yourself in the mirror? Are you proud of who you are and the choices you've made? You cannot control other people but you sure as hell can control yourself.
Be the person you wish to see staring back at you. Even at your worst moments choose love above all else. Choose that which makes you and others feel good. Because the bullshit of life will come calling and you need to know when to call it bullshit so that you don’t end up some place you’d rather not be.
This is hard to do because we often get stuck. We get stuck so we get angry. We get stuck so we get back at that someone or something. We get stuck and there you are...still stuck. Nothing changes.
You need to end the cycle.
End the cycle of anger, jealousy, guilt, aggression, ignorance, and self hate. End the sexism, racism, class-ism, able-ism or whatever isms that have you trapped and seeking vengeance.
Instead of passing on the beef from one generation to the next, just "pass" on the beef entirely.
Fill your plate with what feeds your soul and gives your life real meaning.
Because the rest is all bullshit.
Sunday, January 26, 2020
Get the Best Seat in the House
Ok, I just had the opportunity to listen to a long diatribe performed by someone I know and love very much about how much their life sucks. Honestly, I hear people do this too often it seems that some people do it for a living and if I have to hear one more person say, "There's nothing I can do! I'm such a looser! My life sucks!" I think I'm going to have to slap someone!
Or, maybe I'll just slap a copy of Rachel Hollis' Girl, Stop Apologizing in their hand instead.
The crazy thing is that up until last year, I had NO IDEA who Rachel Hollis was. But, I happened to hear her speak at an event and after listening to her live, I wanted to know more about her and her message.
How can I sum her up? Hollis is a petite blonde bomb of positive energy and a fire cracker of support and encouragement for anyone who is looking to live life like "one day" is today.
To me, Hollis is the female version of Tony Robbins (sans the "Say I" call outs and all the jumping of course). She will inspire you with her intense desire to build a world where people needn't feel badly for wanting something more for themselves and for others. She's a feminist on a mission to end shame and empower women across the continent.
If she were with me that day when I had to endure the "my life sucks and there's nothing I can do about it" private performance, she would have have had a few things to say.
Now don't start to cringe at the fact that I used the "F-word" earlier (kudos to those of you who automatically scanned the previous paragraphs to find it - did you find it?). The fact of her being a capital "F" feminist makes some people start to get a bit squirmy, I know.
But with Hollis there is no male bashing. There is no "Down with the man!" chanting or burning of the bra. The only bashing she really relies on is one that attacks of our tendency to bash ourselves by falling into old habits of self deprecating language, bad relationships, personal hang ups and straight up lies about who we are, what we are capable of, and what we deserve.
Admittedly, Girl, Stop Apologizing had some similarities to her 2018 Girl, Wash your Face but even though there were parts of the two books that felt a bit repetitive, I'll be the first to admit that I didn't care. If she writes another book like either of these, repetitive or not, I'll be sure to read it too. I will read as many as I can get my hands on.
Here's why: I know that the only way one can stop looking at life as one sucky moment after another is to start looking at it as NOT one sucky moment after another. And if you can't do this yet, Hollis can get you started and keep you going.
What this book does is to show you how to see you and your goals differently. In her approach there is no better way change your perspective than to let go of the excuses you're hanging onto, adopt behaviors that lead you towards personal success and acquire the skills necessary to achieve your goals.
Ain't none of that gonna happen if all you do is repeat the "there' s nothing I can do" mantra.
I'm sorry (not sorry) I'm calling it - complaining for a living is BS.
Check yourself and check your point of view.
Can't change your perspective on your own? Then surround yourself with people who see things differently. Read as many books like Hollis' as possible that help you find out how you can change the things that you believe are completely out of your control.
Put it this way, if you were at the Oscars and wanted to get a clear view of your favorite celebrity on the red carpet you wouldn't say, "Oh well! I'll never get a good look at good old blue eyes cause I'm not tall enough". No! You'd move around the crowd. You'd keep poking and peeking over the heads of the people in front of you. You'd find a spot where you could see your dream boat. In fact, you'd get the best seat in the house! You wouldn't wait for another day. You wouldn't make a lame excuse and say, "Sorry, I failed."
Get out there and expose yourself to anything and everything positive. Read as many books, blogs and posts as you need to until your attitude starts to change. Listen to podcasts. Surround yourself with positive messaging. As you absorb it your attitudes will begin to shift. As your attitudes shift so will your actions. As actions shift so will your attitudes. It becomes a positive feedback loop.
I'm sorry, but I cannot tolerate the negativity. Go find a better view. Upgrade your seating today. Change your life and seek out your dreams without apology or excuse.
Or, maybe I'll just slap a copy of Rachel Hollis' Girl, Stop Apologizing in their hand instead.
The crazy thing is that up until last year, I had NO IDEA who Rachel Hollis was. But, I happened to hear her speak at an event and after listening to her live, I wanted to know more about her and her message.
How can I sum her up? Hollis is a petite blonde bomb of positive energy and a fire cracker of support and encouragement for anyone who is looking to live life like "one day" is today.
To me, Hollis is the female version of Tony Robbins (sans the "Say I" call outs and all the jumping of course). She will inspire you with her intense desire to build a world where people needn't feel badly for wanting something more for themselves and for others. She's a feminist on a mission to end shame and empower women across the continent.
If she were with me that day when I had to endure the "my life sucks and there's nothing I can do about it" private performance, she would have have had a few things to say.
Now don't start to cringe at the fact that I used the "F-word" earlier (kudos to those of you who automatically scanned the previous paragraphs to find it - did you find it?). The fact of her being a capital "F" feminist makes some people start to get a bit squirmy, I know.
But with Hollis there is no male bashing. There is no "Down with the man!" chanting or burning of the bra. The only bashing she really relies on is one that attacks of our tendency to bash ourselves by falling into old habits of self deprecating language, bad relationships, personal hang ups and straight up lies about who we are, what we are capable of, and what we deserve.
Admittedly, Girl, Stop Apologizing had some similarities to her 2018 Girl, Wash your Face but even though there were parts of the two books that felt a bit repetitive, I'll be the first to admit that I didn't care. If she writes another book like either of these, repetitive or not, I'll be sure to read it too. I will read as many as I can get my hands on.
Here's why: I know that the only way one can stop looking at life as one sucky moment after another is to start looking at it as NOT one sucky moment after another. And if you can't do this yet, Hollis can get you started and keep you going.
What this book does is to show you how to see you and your goals differently. In her approach there is no better way change your perspective than to let go of the excuses you're hanging onto, adopt behaviors that lead you towards personal success and acquire the skills necessary to achieve your goals.
Ain't none of that gonna happen if all you do is repeat the "there' s nothing I can do" mantra.
I'm sorry (not sorry) I'm calling it - complaining for a living is BS.
Check yourself and check your point of view.
Can't change your perspective on your own? Then surround yourself with people who see things differently. Read as many books like Hollis' as possible that help you find out how you can change the things that you believe are completely out of your control.
Put it this way, if you were at the Oscars and wanted to get a clear view of your favorite celebrity on the red carpet you wouldn't say, "Oh well! I'll never get a good look at good old blue eyes cause I'm not tall enough". No! You'd move around the crowd. You'd keep poking and peeking over the heads of the people in front of you. You'd find a spot where you could see your dream boat. In fact, you'd get the best seat in the house! You wouldn't wait for another day. You wouldn't make a lame excuse and say, "Sorry, I failed."
Get out there and expose yourself to anything and everything positive. Read as many books, blogs and posts as you need to until your attitude starts to change. Listen to podcasts. Surround yourself with positive messaging. As you absorb it your attitudes will begin to shift. As your attitudes shift so will your actions. As actions shift so will your attitudes. It becomes a positive feedback loop.
I'm sorry, but I cannot tolerate the negativity. Go find a better view. Upgrade your seating today. Change your life and seek out your dreams without apology or excuse.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)