“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
For all the years I've stared at the moon, holding a love for you shrouded in secrecy, I am finally arriving at a conclusion about what we were.
I have always been, and remain, drawn to you. You are a comfort I cannot explain, an inescapable pull. But the closer I got, the harder I stared at what was real and what was imagined, the more I saw the dawn breaking.
We are the city mouse and the country mouse. Your world, even with a space for me, would always be too small. I cannot fit, and I will not change my form. There was a future full of possibility for us, but, although I didn’t know how to tell you then, I now can say that I simply cannot exist on your planet without a piece of me dying. While I may not be able to breathe without you, I know I cannot truly thrive in your world.
I don't know that I can ever fully let you go, but I also know I can't take all of you with me. So instead I will take you with me by leaving you behind.
Your intoxicating effect is something I cannot fully release. My soulmate, my first true love—I promised you my heart forever, and that promise still stands. But in the end, I chose not to build a life with you because I saw the dawn breaking. To save our love, I walked away, allowing it to continue to exist in dreams and longing rather than facing a future I knew I could not survive. A future where I wouldn't fit. A life where I would be trapped and suffocate.
But perhaps there is a different future. One that has yet to transpire where we reunite, even if only for a season and hold each other close once again. I can see it now; we travel the galaxy seeing all of the places we’ve only dreamed of, both of us old and gray and spent from the lives we have chosen. But holding on strong, hand in hand we lie on the sand, together once again looking into the eyes of our one certain love.
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