Ok folks, hold on. I know there are some haters out there. Yes, this next post is about a romance, not just any romance, a North Carolina, set by the ocean, during summer vacation, walks on the beach, love at first sight, improbable lovers, impossible odds, love letters, unexpected illness and yes folks, it all working out in the end (by the grace of God), Nicholas Sparks romance.
Did you barf a bit in your mouth? Well if you did, I'm sorry. That was not my plan. But if you're still interested, please, read on.
There is something about Nicholas Sparks that people either love or hate. His books tend to follow a pattern that brings the reader to a magical place of what might have been. I've read a number of his books and Every Breath and A Walk to Remember are just two. What is it about the love story that beats all odds? I mean, any intelligent adult who's lived half a life can tell you it's not all roses. So why should we buy into Sparks' cheesy romantic fantasy land?
Here's what I think: his stories are rooted in the common narrative of "what if"? What if your first love really was your true love? What if you made a bad choice and walked away from the best thing that ever happened to you? What if you were never meant to leave that person after all? What if you were really meant to take the path less traveled?
Walking through the world Sparks creates in his novels makes us call into mind those first romances, first loves, first kisses, and first mistakes. I know it sounds cheesy because honestly, I can give you a million reasons why that first love of mine was never going to work out (but if I'm going to be totally honest here, I sometime secretly wonder "what if...").
Although rooted in real life experiences so much about Sparks novels feel surreal and unrealistic. I mean, how likely is it to meet a long lost love by leaving a letter 20 years late in a random mailbox called "Kindred Spirit" at the beach in North Carolina?
Come on. Even I, a dreamer and believer in love, find it hard to believe.
But here's the thing; I think the reason why we are drawn to these kind of stories is because we are giving ourselves permission to step into something surreal yet possible. While we are there we find bits and pieces of our own ordinary lives hidden in the details.
On another level, I think Sparks' romances are a safe way to revisit moments from our past that give us joy yet leave us feeling unsatisfied. For me it's kind of like playing Candy Crush. I find myself drawn to this stupid game, and to some extent I enjoy finding the hidden pufflers, beating cupcake Carls' sorry ass, or making 7 monklings before my moves run out, yet an hour will pass by and I'll find myself left feeling dissatisfied. I recognize these feelings but I keep going back for more. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm addicted to the sugar rush?!
How many aspects of our lives give us some level of satisfaction yet leave us longing for more?
How often have you found yourself making a choice that's right in the moment but wrong in the long run? How many times do you face the ripple effect of your choices and wonder how it all could have been different? Or perhaps you may not want to change anything about your life but you secretly wonder how it all would have worked out if you had a second go?
What if you had 9 lives? Would we still have regrets if we had unlimited chances for a do-over?
I think no matter what we do we will always find ourselves having regrets.
Always.
Because until you are happy and accept what you've got, you will always be looking for that path that you did not take.
Instead of looking back in regret, make the most of where life has taken you and the path you chose.
Because with every breath we have the opportunity to see life as full and fulfilling if only we decide to remember that path that we walked without doubting ourselves.
Trust your path and keep going with no regrets.
I promise you will find your way.
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