The Rest is all Bullshit

I thank my eldest daughter for recommending Jason Reynolds' Long Way Down.  This story, expertly written in prose was an eye opener for me.  Just one look at the back and you know what it's about.

It's about beef.

No, not a cow.

Beef — as in having a problem with someone or something.

Yup, you've been there.  You've had your fair share of beef.  Some of you live life at the beef buffet filling your plates and feeling miserable every step of the way.

You know who you are.  You feel that life is not fair.  That you've been mistreated.  That you cannot trust.  That you've been wronged.

So then you look to what Reynolds calls "the rules".  These are the spoken or unspoken rules of how to live through the bullshit you've experienced so that you can get over it.  Primarily, it has to do with ignoring how you are really feeling and finding a way to get vengeance.

But let me tell you something; at at end of the day all of "the rules" we abide by are bullshit.

At the end of the day when you lay down your head it does not matter if you've had a hard go or if you've gotten ripped off or if you got back at someone.  What really matters is if you can lay down your head with a clear conscience knowing that you did the right thing (not the "rule" thing).

Did you treat the people in your life right?  Did you practice self love? Did you see the humanity in the person in front of you? Did you make the people in your life glad, smile, comfortable, or feel loved even if those moments were merely fleeting?

That's doing the right thing.   That's something you can feel proud of.

You will come across many “rules” in life.  Expectations and demands that may get the better of you. Feeling defeated, exhausted and overworked we can often feel angry and cheated and the "rules" are tempting.  We can feel like pushing our true feelings aside in search of vengeance.

But you are the person that you have to face in the mirror when you wake up the next day.

At the end of the day can you stand looking at yourself in the mirror?  Are you proud of who you are and the choices you've made?  You cannot control other people but you sure as hell can control yourself.

Be the person you wish to see staring back at you.  Even at your worst moments choose love above all else.  Choose that which makes you and others feel good.  Because the bullshit of life will come calling and you need to know when to call it bullshit so that you don’t end up some place you’d rather not be.

This is hard to do because we often get stuck.  We get stuck so we get angry.  We get stuck so we get back at that someone or something.  We get stuck and there you are...still stuck.  Nothing changes.

You need to end the cycle.

End the cycle of anger, jealousy, guilt, aggression, ignorance, and self hate. End the sexism, racism, class-ism, able-ism or whatever isms that have you trapped and seeking vengeance.

Instead of passing on the beef from one generation to the next, just "pass" on the beef entirely.

Fill your plate with what feeds your soul and gives your life real meaning.

Because the rest is all bullshit.