At the beginning of 2019 I read Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. Reading this book happened to be a happy accident. My eldest daughter who was 10 at the time, had picked it up at the local Indigo book store. Being the not so attentive kid that she can sometimes be, she didn't realize that Big Magic wasn't a kids' book. So, I took it off her hands and gave it a go. And boy was I glad that I did that. Big Magic was great. It really spoke to me because it addressed something that I have been unknowingly carrying around for a long time. Something that had be dragging me down and boxing me in.
This book made me realize that I had been secretly carrying fear like a the latest designer handbag. And even worse, I didn't know that I was carrying it. You see, fear is cunning; fear was disguised as safety, sensibility and caution all in the name of self-preservation.
Does this sound familiar to you?
It does to me.
Now, if you know me at all you'd likely know that I'm not a big fan of horror films or suspense novels, nor am I thrilled by big roller coasters or sharks, or anything that could be deemed scary or dangerous. I'm the sensitive type. If it's going to scare the crap out of me, no thanks, I'll pass.
To be honest, even though I know I'm the cautious type I'm not actually ashamed of it. That being said, I have found myself wishing I were more adventurous; but I honestly I didn't know how to make that change. That was until Big Magic came into my life.
In this book Gilbert writes about life being a journey. Joining you on that journey are many emotions. And fear is most definitely one of them. Especially when we are challenging ourselves to do something that scares us. But Gilbert points something out about fear that made a lot a sense to me.
She taught me that fear is always going to be on the journey. But you need to tell it where it gets to sit in the car. You are in the driver's seat and you are in charge. You get to set the rules for the trip. Fear is allowed to come along. Fear will never want to miss out on a opportunity. But fear will be in the back seat. Fear is never allowed to take the wheel, or be in charge of the map, or the music, or even crack open the window.
Silent and motionless in the back is where fear needs to reside on your life's journey.
Fear may join you on the ride but it is NOT allowed to make any decisions for your journey.
This totally spoke to me.
Like I said, I was carrying fear around like a fancy designer bag not realizing that in doing so I had brought fear into the driver's seat. I didn't even know it was telling me where to go!
Fast forward one year and I've just finished reading City of Girls also by Elizabeth Gilbert. I picked this book up not even remembering Big Magic or putting two and two together that it was by the same author. Sometimes I pick up books for no good reason. And in this case, I liked the cover because I thought it was pretty (no judgement please).
In this book Gilbert again had a lesson to teach me about fear. I really enjoyed City of Girls and what I loved about it other than the endearing characters, and the story of a women daring to carve her own path in life contrary to what society wanted from her, is the lesson that when we try to take the safe path, when let fear tell us what to do, we loose our freedom.
How many times have you lost your freedom because fear took the driver's seat and said:
Don't say too much.
Don't talk too loud.
Don't push the boundaries.
Don't defy social norms.
Don't dress that way.
Don't act that way.
Don't eat that.
Don't do that.
Don't...
Don't -
Don't.
I'd like to live a life free from fear. I'd like to create a life where I'm in the driver's seat free to take my journey wherever it may lead. So I'm telling fear to take a back seat.
I know that on the other side of things that scare me are life's greatest pleasures. I'm ready to be scared. I'm ready to face life with fear sitting silently in the back seat.
I'm ready to remove the box that fear creates for me to uncover infinite possibilities.
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