If you know what I'm talking about then you'd know that I'm talking about Field of Dreams starring Kevin Costner.
Now the book I'm about to talk about really has nothing to do with this movie at all, but bear with me and let me take you on a little journey and hopefully it will all make sense in the end.
I happened to pick up Caryl Rae Krannich's 101 Secrets of Highly Effective Speakers: Controlling Fear, Commanding Attention on a whim and partly because in the last couple of years I've had the great pleasure of getting to know a couple of really great speakers. In addition, since speaking is such a huge part of my job, why not pick up a book about it to see what I can learn from it?
As an example of one of the amazing speakers that I am blessed to have in my life is a most amazing woman who I've had the pleasure of meeting through our shared passion for going to the gym early in the morning. During one of our early morning encounters she shared with me a speech that she had recently performed and I was blown away. Here is a recording of her performing at Speaker Slam in Toronto:
You guys, how incredibly inspiring is she? She makes me feel alive with her energy. Are you not energized by her? Doesn't she make you want to get up and make a change? And to be truthful this energy is not just put on in this video; her positivity, love and energy comes through even at 6:30 in the morning while chatting with her in the gym change room!
See how powerful speaking can truly be? No wonder when I came across Krannich's book I thought, why not indulge myself with a book that might help be learn to speak as Nwafor Robinson does?
Well, indulge in the book I did and regret reading it did I ever!
101 Secrets of Highly Effective Speakers was a painful reminder that not all books are great. This book ended up being a laundry list of do's and don'ts that seriously put me to sleep!
In the course of my reading journey there are few books that I have had to stop and put down never to return to again. Why? Because, quite honestly, they sucked. This book was one of them. Now, don't get me wrong. Everything that Krannich had to say about becoming more effective was right on point. She had tons of advice. 101 points in fact. But who wants to listen to one tip after another?
Perhaps it's because a book like this doesn't translate well to an audio reading (as some you you already know, I read both print and audio books). Perhaps in print it is more appealing as its layout on the page likely contributes to its effectiveness. Perhaps I just didn't get it.
As I read this book I was thinking, "Wow, this is not for me...should I abandon ship? It's painful. It's boring. It's not an enjoyable read!". On top of that, this pedantic novel had the perfect timing for this hell of a week I've had with trying to balance working from home, house work, supporting my children with their distance learning and COVID-19 news lurking around EVERY corner.
These have been dark days my friends.
In J.K. Rowling's The Prisoner of Azkaban Dumbledore advises, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
So in the annoyance of reading this book I'm trying to find the light. As we all hunker down and distance ourselves socially I'm trying to find the light.
If we don't look for the light then all we will do is stay annoyed, angry or afraid. I feed my annoyance every time I find something about 101 Tips of Highly Effective Speakers that pisses me off. I feed my anxiety every time I check Apple News for the latest on the Covid-19 outbreak. It's nuts. I think it's helping me cope but really every time I feed my anger or anxiety, it grows.
I guess Field of Dreams was more a reality than a dream after all. In my attempt to build meaning and sanity in my life, to garner a sense of control and certainty I'm inviting fear, anger and anxiety instead.
I need to stop feeding it so that it stops growing.
What are you feeding? Where are you directing your energy? What is it that is in your life that you wish wasn't there but you continue to nurture anyway?
In her talk Nwafor Robinson references Marianne Williamson's Return to Love. Although I have not read this book I have used her famous quote countless times with my students:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Make that change that you need to make so that you are feeding your life in a way that it can grow in ways that you want it to. Let your light shine.
Build it, and it will come.
Just like Nwafor Robinson says in her talk, return yourself to love and a clean heart. Start over and send your energy towards what matters most to you and what makes your light shine.
And never forget that the ordinary focus on what they're getting. The extraordinary think about who they're becoming.
Look for the bright spot
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