Gratitude Turns What We Have Into Enough

Last night I had a moment of feeling completely overwhelmed with gratitude.  I was sitting at the dinner table, eating a delicious bowl of warm, home made minestrone soup (so good - thank you Williams and Sonoma for the recipe), surrounded by 3 of my favorite people on this earth, as we lingered in the final moments of the setting sun streaming through the windows.  I had a moment of realization right then and there that in spite of everything we are going through right now, we are truly lucky.

All you need to do is take a look at the news to see that there are a lot of people who have got it much worse.   There are people who have lost their jobs, people who cannot pay the bills, people without enough to eat, people who have lost their loved ones, people who are seriously ill, and people who are very much alone every single day.

And there I was sitting in the safety and warmth of my home surrounded by love and eating a nutritious and delicious meal.  I spent the day working online as best I could during these working from home times and spending time taking care of my children and home in the spare moments in between.

I'm tired, but I know that I am lucky, I thought.

There are so many people suffering out there in the world today.  I know my life is not perfect but my goodness, I can see that I've got it good.

It's focusing on gratitude that will get me through the stress of this pandemic.

So this post in not about a book that I read but about a Ted Talk that was shared with me.  I have to thank my dear sister for sending it my way.  I have already shared it with many of my friends and family and now I wish to share it with you because it really made me remember what I am grateful for. 

When we turn to gratitude we find that we can turn what we have into enough. 

Watch and enjoy my dear readers...

https://www.ted.com/talks/louie_schwartzberg_nature_beauty_gratitude?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

As We Count Down The Days, Make Today Count

There are so many things that have come to an end because of social distancing and Covid-19.  Many of us are no longer going to work, attending school, driving to practices, shopping at the mall or visiting with family and friends.  All of these things signal an end to how we were living our lives prior to the pandemic.  How long we will continue like this and what will remain fundamentally altered forever is outside of our ability to know.  So much is uncertain.

But one certainty, if I'm being totally honest here, is that much of what has come to an end has made me sad; especially spending time with my family and friends.  There is a certain longing for the way things used to be.  There is a desire to reconnect with those who I was once in constant contact with in my normal day to day life.  And yet, as these weeks at home turn into months, the strangeness of being isolated at home is starting to feel like a new normal and a strange new calm is washing over me.

At first I wasn't fully understanding what was happening to me.  Then, as I was reading Sarah Dessen's Saint Anything, I had a realization thanks to the main character Sydney.  It is when Sydney states, “For most of us, once something was busted, it was game over. I would have loved to know how it felt, just once, to have something fall apart and see options instead of endings.”

Because of Covid-19 the life we once knew has come to a swift ending.  Perhaps this end is not forever, but at least it is ended for time time being.  But, if you're like me, instead of seeing an ending as being "game over", these times of self isolation and social distancing that we are now facing are actually giving us so many options.  

- Instead of running the kids off to skating practice several times a week I'm going for regular bike rides with my children in the newly quiet street of our neighborhood.

- Instead of frantically trying to fit the laundry, cooking and cleaning into my already packed schedule, I'm washing less laundry, exploring new delicious recipes and cleaning nooks and crannies that never seem to get enough of my time.

- Instead of rushing off to work for hours on end, I'm balancing work and home life in a way I've never had the chance to experience before.

- Instead of missing out on what my kids are learning each day, I am now facilitating their learning both online and in authentic learning experiences.

- Instead of rushing through the day and barely squeezing in "me time", I bare getting through the day by focusing on "me time".

So much what has come to and end has allowed for new opportunities in my life.  

No one knows just how long things are going to be the way they are but what we can do is make the most of things by living each day to it's fullest.  Stop focusing on what you're missing out on but instead look at what this pandemic time is allowing for.  

The day I was ready to write this post I received this quote in my inbox (I've been getting Insight Of The Day quotes for years) and I couldn't help but smile thinking that there was a power out there far greater than I could ever imagine when I read it: 



No matter how long this social isolation lasts, find ways to tap into this newly found precious time.  Make each day count.  Try a new recipe.  Call up an old friend.  Spend some quality time with yourself and your loved ones. 

Make today count as we count down the days to getting back to life as we once knew it.

Some Literal And Figurative Spring Cleaning In The Weeks Ahead

I picked up State of the Union by Nick Hornby on the basis of a staff recommendation at my local public library.  It's a short novel that reads more like a play with its heavy use of dialogue and I plowed through it in one day (thanks to Covid-19, I had some time to kill).

From this book I'd like to share with you a short passage that I found to be insightful and thought provoking.  On page 89, as Louise and Ted meet again for a drink at a pub before going into their next marriage therapy session, they discuss the state of their marriage and what they can do about it:


""The trouble is, marriage is like a computer.  You can take it apart to see what's inside, but then you're left with a million pieces."

Louise sighs in despairing agreement, and then rallies.

"How about this?" she says.  "We shove the big bits back in, chuck the small ones away, close it up, and get on with things."

"But it won't work."

"It won't work, but it will look like a computer."

"Is that what you want?  A marriage that looks like a marriage? Even though it won't work?""


This passage really struck me.  The image of a marriage that looks like a marriage even though it doesn't work sounded all too familiar; not because my own marriage is a sham, but because I have seen how certain aspects of my life can become a hot mess if I don't care for them properly. When I think about this I think about my home, health, relationships, personal happiness, and self worth.  How much of my life has the appearance of being great to others but deep inside they are really just a mismatch of parts that don't exactly fit.

Come on guys, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Anything on your "one day I'm gonna..." list is what I'm really talking about here.  The things that are outta wack in your life and bug you but you simply haven't had the time or the energy to set them right.  The things that nag at you but you just live with because for all intents and purposes, everything looks OK from the outside, so why the hell not just continue on with the status quo?

Well now is the time to put the pieces back together (and not just shove them back in).

As we continue to face weeks of social distancing ahead of us, this is the ideal time for some tidying up.  I mean, of course clean out that closet that needs attention, but also consider the other areas of your life that have been a bit of a mess. Is this not a great opportunity to do some literal and figurative spring cleaning?

What ever your goals may be, is it not a great opportunity take your "computer" apart and figure out how to properly put it back together again (not just shove it into something that looks sort of right but in the end simply does not work)?

My dear readers, we can focus on the negativity of the pandemic or we can search for the goodness that is hiding behind it.  Can you see the silver lining behind all that we are all going through right now?

I can.

We will make it through the times ahead.  Making it through is all many of us can really do - get through and just get on with it.  But you my dear reader, can make it through and and do so much more than that.

Let's do a bit of spring cleaning.  Let's not just focus on literal cleaning up.  Let's look at it on a more figurative level.

Let's reexamine our values and goals and compare that to how we spend our time.  Let's try to re-connect to what really makes our hearts glad.  Let's focus our time on doing just that with the precious time we now have.

Let's come out of this social distancing wiser, stronger and more put together than we have ever have been before.  Not just so that we can look the part, but so we can make it all work properly too.

Tuck Everlasting

If you had to opportunity to live forever, would you take it?  In light of the fact that every day more and more people are dying around the world from Covid -19, it seems odd that I should pick up a book that challenges my beliefs regarding life and death.

Stop for a moment and ask yourself: is it better to live a long life that cannot end, or is it better to end a life that you have fully lived?

It's a tough one, no?  I'm sure that there are many people in the world right now that would gladly take immortality as they face the fear of death (in general) but especially from Covid-19.

In Natalie Babbit's novel Tuck Everlasting, we are faced with this very question.  I actually grabbed the audio version of this book in a frantic haze just before March Break started.  When I heard that my local community center and precious library were going to be shutting down to "flatten the curve" in my community I figured we'd never last a day at home shut out from the world without a few books and movies.

So off I went with my library card in hand and one hour to get enough to occupy my family and I for the next several weeks.

But when I brought the selection of books and movies home, my youngest daughter took one look at the books and wrinkled her nose.  She said that she simply wasn't interested (and here I thought we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover).

I had heard about Tuck Everlasting as a classic novel and knew that it had been adapted into movies and as stage productions.  Figuring that it had to have some merit to be nominated for so many awards, I thought I'd give it a go and then see if I could truly recommend the book to my daughter.

As it turns out, the book became more than a simple recommendation for a 10 year old.  It honestly got me thinking about so much more.

Every time I tune into the news or read the latest chat room gossip it's all about Covid-19 and the turmoil that we're facing globally.

So when I began the book and quickly discovered that it was a book about immortality it got me thinking that there are millions of people out there right at this exact moment who would love to have the Tuck's secret weapon of immortality to keep themselves alive during this trying time.

Or, would they?

You see, as you read this book you begin to realize that immortality is not as appealing as it first seems.  Granted, to never get sick or age sounds quite pleasant doesn't it?  But in the end as is explained by Angus Tuck, he and his family cannot live life to the fullest because without death they aren't truly part of the circle of life.

He argues that without death there is no life.  You are merely a "rock stuck at the side of a stream."

I most certainly do not wish anyone to become infected or die from Covid-19 but I do see the benefit in us all going through this ordeal.  As we all wrack our brains to stay safe and socially distance ourselves hasn't it given us the opportunity to stop and reflect on what matters most?

Hasn't it given you the opportunity to clean out that closet that's be plaguing you for months?

Hasn't it forced you to reach out to the people you love the most to connect and take good care of them?

Hasn't it given you a chance to slow down and do things that matter to you with more care?

As I've said before, people and how we treat one another, are what matters the most in life (the rest is all bull shit).  For those of us who are not essential services and are not allowed to go into work due to government interventions, rather than rant and rave about how bored you are, look at what you are doing with your life.  You're alive!  How do you plan on spending your time on this earth?  Knowing that a virus can spread and attack the entire human race makes you realize how very fragile it all is.

This time of social distancing is ironically allowing us to find a way to get closer to those and that which matters most. Take the time to take care of yourself, your loved ones, your home, your neighborhood and this earth because although it seems like we are on this earth for a lifetime, it is not an everlasting ride.

Seize the day and the many more to come: get creative, try something new, and finish something that needs finishing.

It might feel like being tucked away in our homes is never ending but this too shall pass.  Life your life to the fullest.

A Literal City of Ghosts

How funny is it that I popped in the audio version of Victoria's Schwab's City of Ghosts while completing some household tasks during these housebound times?  No, really.  I found myself reading City of Ghosts while going for a drive for some essential groceries looking out into my neighborhood that has become a veritable city of ghosts in and of itself.

That being said, I am truly thankful that so many people in my community are staying home as was directed by the government.  But during those few times when I venture out, whether it be for some exercise or for some groceries, I find myself walking through a ghost town.  There is hardly anyone out, and if they are we are at least 6 feet apart.  In addition, I've tried greeting my neighbors with a friendly "Good Morning!" or a simple "Hello!" while going for a neighborhood walk with my kids only to be ignored by them time and time again.

I have to admit that all of this is rather unsettling.

It's almost like we've all become ghosts that cannot see one another.

In Schwab's book City of Ghosts, that is exactly what happens when Cassidy's best friend Jacob tries to communicate with others.  Apart from Cassidy, no one else sees or hears Jacob because it just so happens that Jacob is indeed a ghost.

Schwab's book was a nice read that brings you into a world where humans and ghosts are connected through "the veil".  Although it's meant for younger readers I'll be recommending this book for my daughters to read over the next few weeks.  The cool thing about this book is that Cassidy and Jacob have the capacity to walk in and out of the afterlife through "the veil", allowing them to encounter a number of ghosts who either are stuck in the "in between" and cannot move on, or choose to stick around for their own varied reasons.

Kinda cool, no?  I think so anyway, especial because here I am again, reading yet another book that has a bizarre way of connecting with what's actually going on in my life right now.

Let me explain...

Not only am I busy working away at this blog during these uncertain times, I'm also working away at suddenly teaching all of my classes from a distance (something I've never done before and I'm not entirely sure is going to be 100% effective for students - but that's another story all together).

As for the rest of my time at home during this pandemic I too have been visited by ghosts - well kind of...

You see, with all this time at home what is one to do?  As for me, I'm not one for watching too much TV or movies.  I prefer keeping busy in a way that makes me feel productive.  But there's only so much laundry, cooking, and cleaning that a gal can handle!  Do you feel me?  So, in these quiet times at home I've found myself revisiting old hobbies that in recent years I've not had the time to participate in.

I've been knitting, sewing, planting, trying new (and old) recipes and simply finding as many ways as possible to be creative and to stretch our family resources as much as possible. 

And as I've revisited these old hobbies I've been truly enjoying myself.  I'd forgotten how much pleasure I derive from them and how relaxing I find it.  But most surprisingly, while doing this I've been visited by the spirit of my grandmother who introduced me to so many of the old hobbies that I'm now revising.

As I sit at the sewing machine or spend time rolling up balls of yarn that have kept silent in the bin downstairs patiently waiting for me, I've been transported to another time and place altogether.  I've had vivid flashbacks of old times growing up at home, sitting next to my grandmother in her room while she sews.  I can hear the buzz of the machine working frantically and see it so clearly even as I sit here typing.  One of the most vivid visions is the black and white gingham housecoat she would wear, covered in threads from her sewing, and the fuzzy tan slippers that she wore religiously to keep her feet toasty in this frigid country.

As distant as I am from my family and friends right now, this quiet time at home has given me a chance to reconnect with my grandmother.  I cannot say that I've seen her ghost like Cassidy sees Jacob's ghost, but I'm certainly being visited by her spirit.

Although this house bound time has come with its costs, I have to admit that I'm so grateful for the opportunity to get quiet enough to reconnect to my past.  To feel my grandmother's presence once again.

Even better, I've been passing on these skills to my daughters as they stay home with me day after day.  That makes me feel like my grandmother's spirit is living on through them.  What a wonderful gift.

Even if the world out there seems like a literal city of ghosts the reality is that we are never alone.  You simply need to make the most of these challenging times and reconnect to that which has been lost or forgotten.

Regardless of whomever and whatever are you reconnecting with while spending quiet time at home, I hope that it has been keeping you good company.